I dont know if i should say this here, but i am very disturbed by something i found out 2 days ago. In order not to spoil the friendship, i shall keep it private (so no names to be mentioned)
Sometimes i feel very lucky to have pi around. Especially on days when im feeling down and when he's really supportive of me. I believe thats the reason why most girls would choose boyfriends over bestfriends. I dont know about me. I suppose im greedy and i would want to have both at the same time.
But nothing is fair in this world, and poor serene is left to choose with either one. Of course i had to choose pi lah! Im really apologetic to my close friends, i hope u people dont feel hurt ):
I do think of my so called good-friends too. But its rather disappointing each time they reject me because they dont want to hang out with pi and i (some feel embarrassing) I know i spend so much time with pi, im left with no time for the girls. ): I have been such a bad friend.
When the quarrels arrive, i find myself scrolling the contact list in my hp up and down several times and not able to find a friend i can really pour my woes out to. Not to mention arguments. I took a bus down to clark quay yesterday while waiting for pi to knock off and sat there alone. I hate the feeling, i must say. To see nothing but couples holding hands on the street, cliques of friends laughing together, best friends enjoying the beautiful night view. And poor me had to sat there alone, filled with sad, sad and more sad emotions. For a moment, i thought of calling a friend, someone i can talk with (at least to keep me occupied) and i realise i have none. Yes, NONE. How pathetic can that be.
I gave up my sit and left to return back to bugis, to a man who i would feel happier with. I am really glad he's always by my side and i have him as a partner, a best friend, a shopping mate and someone i can gossip with (without backstabbing me) I used to tell him i cant imagine days without him as a friend cause that would be = no friends at all.
Yes the thing that i found out is affecting me, hooking my memories back, to how i had treated my friends back then. As much as i want to know the truth, i hope i'll never find out cause the truth always hurts. I would never want to return to how i was before, i really treasure you people, my friends. )):
I just appear like i dont bother, but it hurts, i hope you know. )': But if you dont like me, i wont try to like you as well. (:
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3 comments:
yo! i found ur blog through tisa's!
i like you lei. LOL. :)
Is it becuz of that saturday that we all backed out?
Maybe you`re not talking about me(and I really hope it`s not me haa) but I swear I don`t feel embarassed gg out with you and spiky and would never even have that evil thought.
Y`know when my clique of friends left me, you and Tisa 'adopted' me and I really seen you as one of my best girl friend since then, and I know although we don`t meet up that often now, or even talk to each other, I always missed the times me you & titi hung out tgt, the times we worked in M&S and Coffee Club, the times we go shopping, having countless birthday celebrations with our friends and all the fun we had.
I`m not having a guilty conscience by typing all these, just to let y`know that I still care, and some things wouldn`t change in the matter of time and when you experience times when you don`t have pple to talk to (like said in the entry), I`m still here for you (:
With love,
frog (not)
Yea thanks, i certainly feel better after reading what u and tisa wrote, im glad i chose the right friends after all. (:
p/s: those were not referring to you, not tisa as well. =D
bytheway, who is justplastic?
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