I will not cry.

Just like a long drama serial, everything ended abruptly after 42 months. There were no happily ever after, instead everything went out of hand.

All the efforts i put into the relationship, the tears, nagging, sweat, all the huge ass planning i made were all flushed down the drain. It was literally destroyed.. I wouldnt say i wasnt at fault, cause i partly initiated the seperation. I just couldnt forget how he lied to me. I tried to forget (i swear i did), but still the flashbacks of how he break the news of lying, like it meant nothing keeps coming back to me each time. That was how bad it hurt me.

I was almost bribed by the melody pen intially. But i knew i shouldnt forgive you. We shouldnt build our relationship just based on materials and presents. Thank you for all the surprises over the years. It didnt helped much. You were a bad boy to start with.

Each time i rant about our problems, you refuse to acknowledge. You hated how i pushed all the blame to you. You said i did not trust you. I will still say the same. I dont. Not at all. You abused the little trust i had in you, even thou it was a mere 0.000001%. You made use of your mother sending you home ( i remembered), u deliberately hid the truth from me. So what if you were with the guys. I wasnt there to witness.

You say i was such a control freak. Thanks, ive heard it a million times. If i had controlled you, you'll never get to stay over in ben's house. Or even get near a pub. Not to mention, given the chance to participate in city alive. Why did u have to betray my love and care for you, over your brotherhood. Does it meant that they bring you more happiness then i do.

Does it mean nothing when you see the things i made for you, or the toys we played before. Do you feel nothing when i cry in the front of you, telling you how hurt i was. Why do you have to choose them over me. Why? Why when i did so much for you.

I insisted on staying last night cause i knew it was going to our first and last time staying overnight together. Thank you for opting to sleep on the same bed. (we did nothing). I felt happy and safe. Just like the chinese saying; nevermind if we couldnt last forever, at least we were once together.

Just like a little girl, i wanted this strawberry ice cream so badly. When i got it, i held it so tightly it crushed and melted. You were the same, you slip through my fingers just like that. Thank you for the memories. I'll never forget you, i'll keep rat aside. ):